"ca       t  e w t  1  a d"

A colleague injured her right hand, came in to the office this morning with her hand all bandaged up. It occurred to me that if I "can only type with 1 hand", it'd be quite tough to make myself understood.

This is preliminary report on a new sub-category of personality disorders, tentatively termed here as the Reverse Multi-Polar Disorder, or RMPD. Literature reviews have not returned any case occurrences of similar nature. Please submit similar cases to Author.

Below is a transcript of the session with the patient. Note that there are no symptoms of psychosis, as the patient is aware of and acknowledges the presence of other entities.

M&M: one doesnt know these things
S: stop using one to refer to yourself la
M&M: ok we shall refrain
S: yes, all of you.
M&M: but there is only one of us
S: is there like, reverse multipolar disorder?
S: one has multiple personalities, but they all think they are the same person
M&M: hey thats cool!
M&M: oooh we have a new disorder!
M&M: thanks!
M&M: from us

* For all the scientific bores out there, here's the disclaimer. This is not a real report nor is it meant to stake claim on the term "Reverse Multi-Polar Disorder" and its abbreviation "RMPD". Gags are such hassles.

I love the way FBI does business. Overheard on a phone conversation with a client, "The only way we can do this is if you give me more money." And this is the first thing he said after "Hello".

And it worked!

2 separate conversations between 3 colleagues, whom I shall refer to as FBI, DBS (as they so fondly call each other) and M&M. M&M - she's our resident "vocabularian" and innuendo expert.

Conversation #1
DBS needed a proposal done up really quickly, but knows that M&M is perpetually under a tight schedule, and this is his approach as recounted by M&M over a smoke break.

DBS: (innocently) Hey M, are you tight?
M&M: (raised eyebrow and pauses before answering) Yes. Very.
DBS: (still unaware of what he just said) Ok, I do myself.

Conversation #2
Over a dessert of chocolate tart and ice cream. According to FBI's own "testimony", he's been in heat for nearly a year now since his wife got pregnant.

M&M: I can't finish this, you want it?
FBI: (leering look) Yes M, I would love to eat your tart.